I see myself at my job, eyes full of love and sorrow at the same time. My heart grieves for those I am leaving behind, leaving a hole in the relationships and bondings. Hands reach out and try to keep me there, not wanting to let me go, but I tear myself out of their grasp, though I love them, and I walk out for the last time with tears running down my face. The door shuts and locks behind me and I know that I no longer have a key to go back inside. I fall to my knees in grief, not knowing quite where to go nor what to do next. I lay down and put my face to the earth, in the dust from which I was formed and let the last bit of my flesh die there, my breath ebbing away and finally ceasing.
And so I lay there, in that valley of defeat, where my flesh finally gave up the battle and ceased to exist. And my weary spirit could not raise its head to revive itself.
Then my Lord, the One who loves me so deeply, came to me so tenderly and whispered in my ear, "The journey has been too much for you, my precious one." And He Himself began to tend to my brokenness. He looked around and saw pieces of me laying everywhere, broken and seemingly irreparable.
I whispered to Him, "I'm so sorry.. I don't know if you can do anything, nor if you will want to. You can just haul it all away..it's ok with me. I appear to be finished, shattered and broken under it all. I can just leave it here and come with you if you want.
He looked at me with that love in His eyes that reaches to the depths of me and He gathered up all the pieces of me, even the ones I thought I had lost. And tenderly, patiently, He put me back together. He glued me back with His love-glue, soothing me with the oils of His love, healing my brokenness as only my Beloved can do.
Then when He was finished, He took my face in His hands and breathed His breath into my nostrils. I felt the warmth of His hands and saw the love in His eyes. I did not want the moment to end, for as His breath began to revive me, I knew that the Object of my greatest love and my Source of Life had never been closer. When He was satisfied that I was breathing, He enfolded me in His beautiful wings, surrounding me in the comfort and the softness of His love and protection. And so my weary spirit began to slowly warm and receive His comfort. And it is here that I rest, surrounded by His tender wings of love. And I begin to heal.
Psalm 71:20 (amp) You who have shown me many troubles and distresses will revive and renew me again, and will bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
