The Oil was Running Out

My lamp was running out of oil the past few days..I knew because I was desiring to think of other things besides my greatest love..my Lord. I was thinking of things without wondering what He thinks of them, what He wants me to do with them and how I should pray for them. The world had become gray and I was very very busy. I blamed it on all the things I was having to do, on the weather, on being tired or whatever else I could think of. But it wasn't any of those things. When I would go to worship the Lord with my flute, I didn't really feel like playing it. And I could not keep my mind on prayer at all. I still went. I still tried, but something wasn't right. 

So today, I resolved to spend my day off work with Him. I put on my new worship CD, Relentless by Misty Edwards. There are 2 CDs. I worked around the house as it played. When the first one was over, I put on the second one. And presently, I heard her sing: I was made to love You and to be loved by You. Won't you let me love You more. This is all I desire. It is enough even if I never do miracles or walk on water. This is all I require. She sang about the Lord being a jealous flame that marks her heart with his love. and I was undone by the realization once again of His love for me. 

Sometimes it takes some time to get back in sync with the Lord. Sometimes it can take a LOT of time. But it is worth it..every second. 

Lord, You are the flame that burns in me. Come, Lord, blow on that flame by Your Spirit. Ignite the flame that You have put in me. Blow it into a raging inferno within me, a huge roaring fire, burning with LOVE for You. The oil in my lamp was getting dangerously low. I must make sure it is replenished every single day. It is worth it. It is worth everything.

Consume me, All Consuming Fire! I must know You deeper; I must burrow ever deeper into Your heart. I am after the depths of Your heart: the deep things, the secret things, the passions, the desires, the delights of You. I must know Your mysteries, your deep LOVE. I MUST be one with YOU. My longing is a sickness..it is so deep. 

I break open my heart so You can search it out. As my heart breaks open for You, let the most precious fragrance, the perfume that is so costly pour over You. I pour myself out for You for You alone are all I desire.

I ask for a deeper love to come out of me for You..deeper and deeper still. More communion with You in the secret place; staying with You in Your tent. With my head resting on your chest, listening for Your heartbeat..knowing You, seeing Your lovely face, Your eyes burning with the fire of Your love for me. 

I have been asking You, what is my assignment, my destiny? And suddenly I know exactly what that is. To Love You more and more and deeper and deeper. Without interruptions, without compromise. THIS is my destiny and my assignment. None other is more important than this.